Writing, Change and Feelings

I don’t mind change. Though it’s easy to get complacent and wallow in the comfort of sameness, I truly enjoy when things get shaken up. I like the energy. I like the newness. Most times.

But not this time. They’re changing things at church. The “powers that be,” in their infinite misinterpretation of the word wisdom, are taking a step backward. We’re back to sackcloth and ashes, focusing on sin again, on how awful we are, instead of on love, self-worth and growth. It’s bringing up all sorts of emotional issues for me. I do not want this in my life. I do not want to deal with it.

But I have to. My latest book, coincidentally, carries the same theme: Sin, and its repercussions. To add the depth the story needs, I have to dig inside myself to where feelings of inadequacy still reside, tiny worms that wriggle in the dark of night: I’m worthless. I’m slime. Worse still, I'm unlovable. Bad things happen to me because I deserve it.

But I hadn’t intended to dig that deep. Now, the changes at church are forcing me to delve into places I don’t want to go. Feelings I can’t control keep bubbling to the surface, forcing me to really look at my core, at who and what I truly am. What I really believe. It’s making me angry. It’s making me cry.

But my book will be all the better for it. Beneath the mystery and suspense will lie a message of hope. Of worthiness. We don’t have to punish ourselves for our mistakes. We can learn from them, become better people, and find happiness.

My God is loving and kind, no matter what my church teaches. And my book will be all the better for having to deal with these long-buried issues. I have until Advent to decide what to do about the church. But I have my stories every day. I thank my caring God that I’m a writer. And I thank God I, too, am the better for it.

Post total: 344 words

Week total: 1,000 words

Still Needed: 0

Running Blog Total: 4,561 words

Your Life As Plot

It rained here on the Central Coast last month. In June.  And it rained here just this week. In July. It hasn’t rained in June or July for twenty years, not since 1991. 

I was stunned. Twenty years? What was California like back then? I wondered. Then I started thinking about what I was doing twenty years ago.

I was married, with a fifteen-year-old computer genius son. A husband who worked long corporate hours. And I was a part-time test examiner for the state. A fairly normal, fairly unremarkable life. Not much to write home about. Or was it?

Then I asked myself: What if...

What if I met a man on the bus and had an affair? What if my son hacked into the Federal Reserve and set up bogus accounts in our names? What if terrorists invaded the state office building where I worked and took our room hostage? What if one day my husband went to work and never came home again?

My mind began spinning with possibilities. Some pretty far-fetched, yes, but others viable, even interesting. I’d never before looked at my life as being worthwhile fodder for my writing. It was too normal, too dull. But suddenly whole new vistas opened up. Like rain after twenty years.

Consider this: If all the world’s a stage, then all your life’s a plot.

Post total: 230 words

Week total: 1,000 words

Running Blog Total: 2,905 words

Who's In Charge?

Well, here I am again, after a long hiatus. Way longer than I wanted it to be, due to events that spiraled away from my grasp once I left my son’s home, where I was visiting and started this blog. Half of it is because I just don’t understand technology, and couldn’t figure out on my own how to log back in to post. The other half is because I’d rather hide my head in the sand instead of facing the unknown and learning how to log in to the dashboard. Mea culpa.

No more. Tonight I’m fired up. From now on, now that I know how to get into my blog (Thank You, Debra!), I will do my darndest to set forth my 1,000 words of semi-wisdom each week. After all, I do have a rep to live up to, right?

It hasn’t been all lilacs and roses, bonbons and relaxation. I now have three (count ‘em, three) suspense books ready to start peddling, plus another that’s beginning to go through the critique process. And a fantasy novel that’s in major rewrite, since a new character popped up after I’d finished it, wouldn’t you know? And I’ve entered and won in a couple of writing contests, too. So, I’ve at least been busy while being silent. But there’s fly in the ointment—or is it a rub? (Thanks, Willie S.) To get my books out I’ve more technology to learn. Rats!

I’ve also been teaching writing classes each week to eight very talented SLO NightWriters members, a group mixed in both sexes and ages. The topic today was, “Who’s In charge?” which is, I suppose, what started this train of thought—and this need to post again. I realized that I haven’t allowed myself to be in charge of my own blog for months!

There are two schools of thought on who is in charge of a story. The first says it’s the writer who is in charge. It’s your story, you are the author. You are the one who decides what happens when, to whom. You devise the plot, you throw in the twists. A good outline will keep you on the right track to the end. 

We’ve all read advice like this from published authors and writing teachers, or taken classes where this view is expounded. It sounds logical. And right. I mean, if the author is the one who has the idea and is doing the writing, he/she has to be in charge, right?

Then what about those writers—like me—whose characters “take over” the story and dictate events? What about writers—like me—who start with the mere inkling of an idea and let the story flow where it will, merely following with pen in hand, a scribe taking dictation along the journey? That’s the second school of thought on who is in charge of a story. It’s the way I work best. I rarely outline more than a chapter or two ahead, because by the time I get there, the characters have taken over and veered the story in another direction.

It happened especially at the end of my novel, Tangled Webs. I wanted a different ending. My female protagonist refused to go there. And I was stuck until I bowed to her wishes.

So, who is in charge of your story? Simple answer: No matter how you work, by outline or instinct, you are in charge. The difference is in the way our brains work. Some need the structure of an outline, a linear progression that takes in all the highlights (and even some semi-lights) along the way. Structure opens their creativity. Others thrive on unexpected twists and surprising turns, allowing their instincts room to find the right path. Unlimited possibilities opens their creativity.

But know this: even when your characters take over a story and tell you what they will and won’t do, you are still in charge. In fact, it’s actually your subconscious taking over and directing the flow, in the guise of the characters. That is why it’s imperative to know your characters thoroughly, even better than you know yourself. When you know your characters to the core, it allows your conscious to step aside and lets the story flow through your subconscious. Instinctive writing.

So, next time you’re stuck, or the words seem to be made of molasses and they just won’t flow, take a step back and ask your characters (your subconscious) what they want to do and see what happens. Trust your instincts. It might be scary at times, but it’s always exciting.

Post total: 770 words

Week total: 770 words

Still needed: 230 words

Running Total: 2,675 Words

You Need To Blog

Get yourself out there: I heard it from almost every presenter at this September’s Central Coast Writers Conference (at which I took first place for Young Adult Novel in the Lillian Dean First Page Competition, my first time out writing for the YA market — wow!). To be a successful writer these days, you must have a platform, an internet presence that drives potential readers to follow you, eagerly awaiting your next thought, opinion, book. It’s what agents look for, what acquisition editors look for and, most importantly, what the marketing department looks for. (After all, they are the ones who have the most to say about whether or not your Great American Tome will sell.)

To blog successfully you need to be unique. You need a hook with which to capture as large an audience as possible. But with so many blogs in existence (I heard 180 million and rapidly counting…) pretty much everything has been done a hundred or more times over, unless you fill a very specialized niche. What’s an “average” writer to do to rise to the top of an immensely huge milk vat? Hard not to be discouraged before one even starts.

Had a long talk with my son (and outlook mentor) on this subject, during which he pointed out that I was defeating myself with an “I can’t” attitude. His advice? Forget about who’s writing what about what and just go do it. Even though there are 180 million blogs out there, there are a few billion or so readers floating around, too, so there’s an audience for everyone.

Huh. Why didn’t I think of that? (I guess that’s why I keep the kid around…) So, with the pressure to be unique and sparkling and intriguing off my fairly frail shoulders, I was free to allow my subconscious to ruminate on the sticky problem of how to go about blogging in a way that would be fun for readers and challenging for me (in a good way, not a “rats, I’ve gotta go write yet another blog!” way). And suddenly, out of the blue — well, the dark, actually, since it was nighttime — it hit me.

My nickname in my family has always been “A Woman of 1,000 Words,” mainly because I like to talk (maybe too much, but that’s for another day). And I write the same way: if everyone else can say hello in 10 words, I need 100. Minimalist is not my style. I love to wallow in words, though I have learned to control my love-affair with adjectives. Why not capitalize on what I already have? My way with (multiple) words?

And hence my blog, both title and weekly aim: 1,000 words. Exactly. Each week. I will write about writing: about the process, the muses, the stories, the plot conundrums as they arise in my work. About new directions in literature. About writing groups, critique groups, writing events. About books and reading and readers. In 1,000 words. Exactly.

Not all at once. Some weeks I may post three, four or more times; some weeks only once or twice. But each time it will add up to exactly 1,000 words. Words of advice, words of instruction, words hopefully of interest to some of the billions of readers searching internet blogs for enlightenment and entertainment. Come follow me on my journey and watch the weekly word count.

1,000 words. Exactly. After all, I’ve gotta live up to my nickname, don’t I?

Post Total: 578 words

First Week Running Total: 578 words